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“I’m doing Arabic tai chi,” you might say when someone sees you crouched in a stall at the Gap. Eastern thing.”, that requires Muslims to wash their hands and feet five times a day?

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Each time we successfully used this intimidating instrument, we felt like we had just unsheathed the famed, Arthurian sword from the stone.

It was our scatological light saber and a daily reminder of our virility and manhood.

Personally, I ascribe to the “bigger is better” lota philosophy.

During my UC Berkeley college days, my roommate and I purchased one from Wal-Mart that we named “Excalibur.” Wielding this five-pound behemoth watering jug required strength, discipline and skill.

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