Rule on dating friend ex
The closer you are to your friend, the higher the stakes. No matter your choice, there is no complete win or loss.But it is important that you understand that there is a possibility of diffused friendship as well as a likelihood that the ex shall still carry a torch for your friend. Let time do its trick Do not rush into making a move on your friend’s ex immediately after they have called it quits.
Talking to your friend before you make a move on his/her ex is the high road to take, always – unless … However, do not ask for permission if you won’t take no for an answer If you feel so strongly about your friend’s ex that your decision to have a ‘talk’ or ask for permission is more of a marketing speech or a persuasive attempt to convince them of your feelings, you might be better off without seeking approval.Yet, you need to avoid this situation at all costs.In order to maintain a healthy relationship with both, it is important that you never take sides or cast either in the bad-guy mold, no matter how much time has elapsed.Ever been on the receiving end of that unequivocal tenet of advice picked from a rather exhaustive section of the relationship Bible, called the ‘Ex code? Life is more grey and it is through the differential mixing of the black and white colors at the dual ends of the spectrum that varying hues of differing contrasts and intensity are produced to give life its essential experiential flavor. In my last article that dealt with a different facet of the ‘Ex-code’ and answered a question that has baffled many for eons (whether it is really possible to be friends with an ex), I had clearly dismissed black and white dictates as an impossibly unrealistic guide to stick to.Similarly, your guy friend does not need to know that you cannot make it for a guys’ night out because you have to go pick up his drunk ex from the club.
Please refrain from passing on information that may be over – read, uncomfortable or simply offensive and hurtful.
Do not pass on secrets that you may be in possession of, as that is the bare minimum of the decent conduct expected from a mature adult who has made a conscious decision to complicate two equations by dating a friend’s ex. Own the risk involved We have already explained the risk element associated with the deal.
When you have decided to go ahead with the decision to date your friend’s ex, remember that there is a high chance of everything blowing up in your face.
Get the buy-in before making your move Really, go and ask if it is okay that you want to date their ex.
Ask them for permission in a gentle and soothing way without rubbing them the wrong way.
You might end up losing both your friend and your sweetie.