Older women dating younger men advice
"The women," he says, "were more interested in men their own age or older." As for the men, he says: "I guess it could be nice not to hang around a ditz with no knowledge of music or something like that." "We have strong 'shoulds' on ways of partnering up," Kathryn Elliott, Ph D, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, explains to Web MD. We pathologize anything that isn't within those shoulds." The key to making older women/younger man relationships work, Elliott says, is to match what she calls voltages."Choose someone who is your voltage type -- has the same level of intensity about life.
If an older man suspects that you are after him for his money, then he is liable to look elsewhere for a deeper relationship.Tessina, Ph D, a licensed family therapist in practice in Long Beach, Calif., and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again, tells Web MD.For their part, the men like the sophistication and life success of their older mates, she explains.She works out a lot by her own admission (and judging by her track record in this department) and often meets partners at the gym, not the bars.Winter tells Web MD that she and her co-author interviewed more than 200 couples for their book. Such men (at least the ones interested in older women) are stable and mature. They want a woman who knows who she is." Still, even Winter admits, this may not be for everyone.So before you gout with a guy, carefully consider not the difference in your age, but in your maturity. They have probably done a lot more living than you have and are usually settled into a career.
While younger men tend to bounce from job to job as they ‘find their place in the world’, older men have been working, building a bank account, paying their bills, and taking care of their responsibilities for some time.
Those were the ages of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore when the couple tied the knot last year, making their highly publicized May-December romance official.
But even though their older woman-younger man relationship may be among the world's most visible, it's not that unusual anymore.
Though hardly a scientific study, the research surfaced three myths such couples hear every time: Winter is upbeat about the younger generations. "All they can do to get a woman is dangle their Porsche keys." As you peel back the decades, though, the men get "cooler," she says.
But sometimes young women get tired of dating men their own age.
"What you don't want," she explains, "is one partner wanting to go out, the other stay in; one willing to talk, the other wanting space (and silence to enjoy it)." Susan Winter is co-author, with Felicia Brings, of Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance.