Figuring out what dating dealbreakers are
But even if the dealbreakers aren’t so complicated and elaborate, it doesn’t make them illegitimate.
Someone may see smoking as a dealbreaker because they watched a loved one die of lung cancer; no amount of “but I’ll smoke outside of the house,” or “I’ll vape so you don’t smell it on me” is going to chase away the spectre of Uncle Jim wasting away in a hospital bed.If you are the sort of person who insists that “drama” is a dealbreaker, then you need to examine whether your idea of “drama” translates to “my partner having needs or desires that annoy me.” On the other hand, the common complaint that women won’t date shorter men has less to do with height being inherently attractive and more to do with ideas about gender roles.There’s a great deal of pressure for men and women to conform to masculine and feminine roles; a woman being taller than a man often makes her feel less feminine.But handling dealbreakers often isn’t as black or white as we might like…especially when someone than we are about reasons why we wouldn’t want to date someone. Nobody gets 100% of what they want in a partner; you get anywhere from 60% – 90% and round up because they’re just that worth it.
But while some things on our dating wish-list are “It would be nice if,” others are “must haves” and still more are “absolutely must not”.
Even if someone’s dealbreakers seem ridiculous to you, choice.
Not every dealbreaker is necessarily formed out of bitter experience or careful consideration.
Other times that price is considerably greater and requires more consideration on a person’s part – is this something that you’re willing to give up or put up with if it means being able to be with them? If you’ve spent some time in online dating, you’ll have run across people who spell out exactly what they will and won’t accept in a date.
And on occasion, that price is too great for you to be willing to pay it, no matter how you may feel about somebody. If their dealbreakers exclude And to be fair, finding out that somebody doesn’t want to date you because of something out of your control – your height, for example – can feel insulting on a personal level.
But as with boundaries, what we will and won’t accept in a romantic partner is an entirely personal decision.