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Dating a good friend

Make sure whomever needs the help gets some treatment, and then let the dust settle for a month or two. Did you ever start dating your best friend as you were helping him through the worst--or most exciting--transition in his life? xxx--------------------------*Not his real name.--------------------------PS: Staci: I love your story! I'm glad it worked out--good for you, for being bold enough to lay it on the line! Faith, I'm sorry things didn't work out with your friend, but it sounds like you have a great outlook on it.

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) case of commitment-phobia on my part, rather than any real doubts about the situation at hand; maybe the supposed chemistry conundrum was just a cover for my fear of getting closer to him. (Trust me on that: About six months after we broke up, Jake said, "The sex really wasn't very good, was it?And you can't think of a better person to do that with than him. It’s okay to be single at this point in your life, as many of us in our 20s are.But he told me he'd been mulling it over for a while, and he was serious about wanting to give things a go. And not having Jake in my life seemed unimaginably painful. Maybe incompatible phermones are to blame--who knows?At the same time, after considering it for a minute or two, I realized that if I give it a try, my reluctance could create a weird dynamic which could very well do serious damage to the friendship--maybe as much as a failed romance would. --because there doesn't seem to be much else to explain it. Yeah, he remembers all of that and it scarred his brain and now he will not so much as come close to licking your face ever or being a total dick out of nowhere, don't you worry. You know all about his issues with his ex, so you're not wondering what he likes and doesn't like. You already trust him, which makes you, like, 80 percent less nail-bitingly nervous about everything.

The guy who slept with you and then stopped calling you for no reason?

Lovelies: Yesterday, I was talking about how awesome it was to have Jake Stein* along on the weekend trip--and also talking about how Jake and I went from being best friends to being boyfriend-and-girlfriend for a brief period.

The question of our dating came up like this: Jake and I had gone back to his apartment for a nightcap after having dinner together ... Plus, he's very tall and quite handsome--an indubitably attractive guy (whom the ladies generally love).

THE FACTORS THAT SHOULD BE IN PLAY BEFORE YOU START DATING YOUR BEST FRIEND1) A mutual (and intense) desire--ON BOTH SIDES--to give it a whirl.2) The LACK of some major precipitating event.

By that, I mean: Think twice before getting involved with your best friend if either of you are motivated by feelings other than love, longing and desire.

If, instead, the catalyst seems to be a tragedy (like a death in the family) or even a great personal victory (like a big promotion or selling your first movie script), you might want to hold off a month or two, and re-assess then.