The following comments by the women reflect the opinion expressed by most of the women I interviewed: “The first time can be a little terrifying for the woman. Others commented on their expectations in the swinging context: “What kind of clothes should I wear?
However, and this may seem strange, younger men are often interested in pursuing older women, just as older men may approach younger women.It has often been said in the swinging community that women control what happens in swinging. After the initial nervousness wears off, it is the women who have the final say on who “parties with whom” and how (couples only, girl on girl, threesomes, group sex, including the enforcement of safe sex rules).If the woman isn’t interested in an individual or a couple, a polite excuse is given.One of the questions I’m asked most often is if swinging is a male-driven and dominated endeavor where husbands coerce their wives into this “degrading” situation.The assumption is often based on the premise that any “decent and self-respecting” woman would not agree to being “objectified” in such a way.Moreover, swinging has a special attraction to women who want to experiment with bi-sexuality.
At times the preference for woman-to-woman play excludes not only men but also those women who have no bi interests.
The man, most often, abides by the decisions of his female companion.
For the most part women are in control, according to data.
I don’t want to be alone sitting at a table while he makes out with someone else on the dance floor. Some women posited: “Being overweight doesn’t make you less sexy or less appealing, it’s how you think of yourself that is important.” After the very first “swinging” experience, many women have stated that their husband looked at them with “ fresh eyes” and showed a higher level of sexual desire for them, that often rekindles the sexual spark and allows them to feel confident once again.
For women, feeling desired is a great confidence builder, and most women reported enjoying being seduced and desired.
One study subject puts the rationale for trust in perspective: “Why would your husband go elsewhere for sex, if he can have access to other women in a stimulating environment with his wife’s participation and consent?